We received news on Friday at noonish that Grandma Bressler passed away around 11:30 a.m. She was at home and died peacefully with family around her. It was a relief in many ways as her last few months grew increasingly painful to her, and we all knew where she was going. I made arrangements for flights, hotel, and rental car and then left work a bit early so we could get our wits about us and pack. My boss is a dear friend of my father-in-law so he had compassion and was flexible with my time.
I came home expecting to pack and hit the sack early. Instead my dearest husband had a little birthday celebration planned for me! He had made a cake for me-- (there's a glare there-- it's not a blob of flour like it looks like)--
--a huge accomplishment for this mac-and-cheese-only chef-- and had presents! We're on a super-tight budget right now since we have these two car payments, so we agreed a while back that all birthday gifts would be in the $25 - $30 range, max. Well, Brad is a thoughtful man who dreams big. This is especially handy at birthday and anniversary times since that means awesome presents for me. But $30 was throwing him for a loop, as he wanted to buy me one of those bedspreads from the MIT hotel that has equations on it. (You get all the points for that one, lovebug. And extra points for staying in the budget.) He bought me a calendar with pictures of cats in the Greek Isles, a big book that is all pictures of cats, and a puzzle book of 30-second mysteries. The cat theme is because I've been pining for a cat. I'm allergic, terribly, and won't get shots or anything in order to have a pet-- that's too much for me. But I miss having a cat. A lot. So thoughtful Brad picked up on that and gave me the next best sneezeless thing.
So we had cake and more cake, and I opened my fun presents, and then we packed. We might have gone out to dinner later on, I think. But it was a bit of a blur.
Saturday morning our flight left at 7 something a.m. so we left the house by 5:30 or so. I don't think God actually invented early mornings. I think he thought he was done and forgot to make something beautiful of 5:30 a.m. I hate getting up early to travel-- my stomach always gets upset just thinking about flying, and I'm guaranteed to hurl if I have to wake the beast early. But God had extra mercy on me and let the dramamine take full effect. We flew directly into Cincinnati and rented a car and drove to Columbus. We stopped for (you guessed it) a Donato's pizza before checking into the hotel and napping for an hour.
Saturday night was the first bit of calling hours. The casket was at the church and we were there from 4 til about 8:30 p.m. And it was like nothing else I've seen, funeral-wise. I've been to more funerals than I think I should have (my former therapist agrees), and I've seen them done a myriad of ways. But this was unreal. People streamed in and stood around like it was a party. Grandma just so happened to be there in a casket, but the catchings-up and hugging went on and on. I met a billion people whose names I've heard here and there. I saw the family go from downtrodden and tired to their bones to encouraged and truly joyful. The community truly did what it is designed to do-- bear one another's burdens, cry with those who mourn. And it was good.
Afterward Brad and I tried to catch the end of a concert at his old church, First Love, but we missed it. We did get to see the gang and chat for a while, and that was wonderful. Poor Lisa is in a wheelchair after breaking her ankle and having to have surgery a few weeks back.
Sunday was my 30th birthday. And yes, I do feel different. Well, sort of. I will feel more different when I get out of this fog and am back in my routine. A while back I asked a question on my favorite time waster, "What's the big deal about turning 30?" Many of the answers were along the lines of, "I just stopped caring what people thought of me." Other things were said of course, but that sentiment resonated with me. And I think it's a perfect banner over my current state of mind and being. I am in the middle of change-- I sense the contents of the blender swirling around me and I don't really know what flavor of milkshake I am just yet. I've been hearing whispers of pastoring or teaching the Word here and there. I've been dreaming often of my days at Bryn Mawr and then daydreaming about being a head of school at a girls' school. And I think I'm at a point where I need to evaluate or just chew on this: I know my energy limits-- if i throw myself into one, I can't do the other. If I want to be focused on ministry, I can't get a masters in school leadership and be in administration-- I just won't have the energy for it. If I want to be a head of school, that's going to be it and all for me. And perhaps I'm being too either-or, and I don't need to be. But all the swirling is at least taking the form of a milkshake, instead of the bass-o-matic I felt I was in a few weeks ago.
So Sunday was my day. We slept in after being exhausted on Saturday night. Then we went for an early lunch at Max and Erma's where they have discontinued pretzel breadsticks and I am very disappointed. But I got soup and a salad and was happy. I got the tortilla soup-- haven't had that in ages-- oh, so good.
And a salad. Which, I discovered about two bites into, had a little friend in it. Just a little fly, dead, stuck to a leaf. I sent it back and asked for a bowl of french onion soup instead. Of course it came out just after the birthday cookies did... a haphazard meal but tasty nonetheless.
We finished our meals, including partaking of said fresh-baked cookies - yum!
And then we got dressed for the afternoon. The second wake was from 2 to 4, and then the funeral was at 6 p.m. By 4 p.m. I had had it. My introverted soul was exhausted and I needed some rest... and none was in sight. We had a meal at the church and then the funeral began. The service was amazing-- totally captured Ione and her mission. The word that came to me was "simple"-- her mission was simple-- to show people Jesus. The people who were there told stories of how she touched them, how she encouraged them, gave to them her time and money, you name it. She loved Jesus and was devoted to showing people Jesus. It was inspiring.
We left and went out for a bit- do I even need to tell you what it was? (Massey's pepperoni and bacon, in case you were wondering) and then headed back to the hotel for a long winter's nap.
Monday was the burial in Evansville, Indiana. Brad and I did not go, instead we got to have a little time to ourselves. We woke up to - gasp - snow flurries! It was c-o-l-d and gray all day, but we had a great time anyway. Brad showed me the city-- a really neat bookstore in German Village, basically an old house that wanders on for 32 rooms, full of books, cards, magnets, you name it. We drove through the campus of Ohio State University-- big and daunting, but also inspiring. We drove up to the Monte Carlo where we had amazing Italian food for lunch. And then we drove around a few smaller neighborhoods scoping out possible houses. I don't think it's any big secret that I'd like to move away from here-- that we both would like to. And though Chicago is my first choice, it's expensive and we've already lived there, and it's not Brad's first choice. I don't know what his first choice is, but I know we both like Columbus a whole lot. So we drove around and looked for For Sale signs for a few hours. That was super fun as we've never really gone house shopping before. The house we're in was the second one we saw, so we've never done any scouting, and it was a lot of fun. We realized that we both value charm and location over size and amenities, and we really liked some of the cute houses in Westerville by Otterbein College.
So we'll see what God has for us. We had a great conversation with Chris on Sunday afternoon about telling God what you want. And God knows we want out. The one thing holding us back is selling this house-- it's a bad market as you know and we also have a killer pre-payment penalty on the mortgage. Soooo, God, guide us. And work miracles.
After househunting we went back for a nap and then met up with the gang for a Pizza Trifecta. There are three pizza places where Brad used to eat when he lived in Columbus. There are five days in a week, so of course he had to have some of them twice a week. I hate to think of his cholesterol. The three best places are Rubino's (cracker crust), Massey's, and Donato's. Court and Cheri and boys were going to bring Rubino's but they're closed on Monday so they brought a variety from California Pizza Kitchen. Chris and Tina provided Donato's. We brought Massey's. And there were a few others-- I think Laura brought one and maybe Ben and Lisa brought a Minuteman one? Sorry if the details are off-- it was a sight to behold. We all met at Chris and Tina's house-- nine adults, ten kids. It was lots better than being in a restaurant and the kids had space to play while the adults talked childbirth, computer games, and innuendos. It was an absolute blast.
And this morning we woke up early early and left the hotel before 6 am for the drive into Cincinnati. We arrived in plenty of time, especially since I thought the flight left at 10 and it actually left at 11 am. Oopsies.
And we got home a few hours ago. Brad's napping and I'm blogging, soon to lay down.
Love to you all.
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