Monday, May 07, 2007

Decisions, decisions.

So after The Talk this morning, in which my boss cried as it broke his heart to fire me, I packed up my office, trained him on my computer and to-do list, and came home. I couldn't decide what to do with myself-- never having been drunk, what better occasion to try it out? Or perhaps I'd like to turn to my favorite vice, eating? We have plenty of ice cream in the freezer. Instead, I took a shower to wash the day off of me.

I just feel so weird. I haven't dealt with a lot of traditional rejection in my life. Pretty much all of the rejection I've faced is the kind where the relationship is over because the person died. So I've never been dumped, never been fired. This is not a fun feeling. I'm sad because I don't want to see my bosses struggle. And I think I'm sad for other reasons, but I don't know what they are. I'm scared for our finances. I'm scattered as I have been lately, only now even more. I'm thankful to have found a counselor who I'll be seeing for the first time on Wednesday.

4 comments:

katie said...

Kathleen,
Remember that God is Jehovah Jireh, our provider. I'm praying for you.

Suz. said...

Kath,
The Lord delights to surprise you with good things. Don't be afraid to ask him for good things, not just getting-by things. I will be praying for you, my dear friend. Last week I decided to really submit my list of just frivolous things - like roses, wildflowers, dusk, good hair days, etc - to God, asking him to supply these things just to let me know that he is there and that he delights in these small things. I don't typically go to him. I am finding I don't go to him for things... because I don't want to be disappointed. So, I added to my list a request for $1000 for my summer ESL certification course at Biola University. I said - ok God, if you want me to go to this I would really like you to supply this money. And I will know that you are paving the way here for sure. What do you know, on Friday, I received a check for over $3000 that was owed to me, and I was not expecting it at all. God delights to give us good things.

Shanel said...

Oh dear.

Anonymous said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Only good things will come from this, I am sure! It is hard to understand now, but I have been through it with a company downsize, and I am now learning why it happened...! Hang in there! Love, ges