Two jokes

Brad gets jokes sent to his inbox daily. I don't know the source--
I'll find out. In the meantime, here are two little laughs for you.
Credit to the joke-of-the-day website Brad knows about. These are
posted with you in mind, Grandfather.

An earless boss is holding interviews for an open position at his
company. The first candidate comes in to interview. The boss says,
"What is the first thing you notice about me?"
"You have no ears!" says the candidate.
The boss yells in a rage, "Get out of my office!"
The second candidate comes in and is asked, "What is the first thing
you notice about me?"
"You have no ears!" he says.
Again the boss yells in a rage, "Get out of my office!"
The third candidate is called in for his interview. The second
candidate tells him, "Whatever you do, don't mention his ears."
The boss asks the third candidate, "What is the first thing you notice
about me?"
The candidate thinks long and hard, looks the boss up and down, and
says, "You wear contact lenses."
"Amazing!" says the boss. "How did you know?"
The candidate replies, "You haven't any damn ears for the glasses to hang on!"

A farmer and his wife go into town. They come upon the local airport,
what with its fancy planes and everything, and see a pilot doing
loop-de-loops in the air. When the pilot lands the farmer asks, "How
much for a ride?"
The pilot replies, "Ten dollars for three minutes."
"Oh, that's too expensive," says the farmer.
"I'll make you a deal," says the pilot. "I'll take you up there and if
you don't make a noise, you don't pay. But if I hear a sound, it's
ten dollars."
"Deal!" says the farmer. So they go up for a ride, the farmer, his
wife, and the pilot. The pilot takes them through the loop-de-loops
and all the acrobatics, and then lands the plane.
"No sound at all! That was amazing!" he says to the farmer.
"It wasn't so bad," says the farmer, "except I really wanted to scream
when my wife fell out."