Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I didn't shred my child. I mailed him away to my sister.

Remember that photo-booth picture I told you about? The one where it took a picture of me, then a picture of Brad, and then morphed our faces together to give us a picture of our hypothetical first-born son?  The one I thought I shredded along with our boarding passes to Indy?
 
He's alive!  Er, not really alive.  More like, unshredded.  But in a different state, geographically speaking.  I sent him to my sister by accident.  I mean, I mailed her a package on purpose and somehow he accidentally slipped into the package.  She called this morning and asked if I had meant to mail the pic to her.  Oops.  I didn't mean to send away our hypothetical child to Aunt Stephie, at least I didn't mean to do it as a conscious act.  The funny thing is, I've said over and over if we got a big surprise and found out we were pregnant I would probably either a) hire my sister to come live with us full time or b) send the kid away to Fun Aunt Stephie's for years 2-18, covering the terribly twos through most of puberty.  They get thankful once they hit 18, right?
 
This all makes me sound like a horrible person, but really, compared to my friends who are parents, I am a horrible person.  I am selfish with my time, my home, my things, my noise-level, and my sleep.  I'll grow out of it and will become less horrible, and truthfully, if we got that big surprise we would accept it gratefully as a gift from God after a few days of weeping. 
 
I just think it's terribly funny and ironic that I subconsciously sent our hypothetical child away to my sister. 

2 comments:

Suz. said...

hee hee!

Steph said...

HA! I would lovingly accept the child and make them into a mini-version of me. As long as the kid isnt autistic, I don't know if I could do that 24-7. But your kid is on the way back...I mailed him yesterday, so post him up on the blog. And name him. Maybe Mitch.